À la reserche du temps perdu … I wish.

“I wake up exhausted. It’s not morning. It’s back to sleep to re-dream me.” – Tegan & Sara

Like a fifth-grader on a field trip, I packed my sandwich this afternoon and ventured out to the Vancouver Public library. Hopping off the bus downtown, I was filled with glee and possibility. I could not wait to sign up for a new library membership. The thought of swiping a card this week that I wouldn’t have to pay off in five years excited me beyond belief.

Walking up to where I thought it should be, I was befuddled when I could not find it

I became dizzy turning around in circles, while forclemped walking back and forth across the same red light. As the afternoon sun began to boil my redheaded skin, I could not take it anymore. “Google map!” I harkened to the blue skies above me, “don’t fail me now!” Without a parasol to protect me or a pool boy to spritz me off, I was brought to my knees and finally had to ask for help.

RUGGED FOX: (to lady at bus stop) Excuse me, would you happen to know where the library is?

LADY AT BUS STOP: You mean (pointing directly across the street) that one?

RUGGED FOX: (stunned at his fierce inadequacy) Wow.

Laying my eyes upon the massive structure for the first time, I thought about what else could've been right in front of my face that I was missing. Busy thinking, I failed to notice my hand crawl its way into my bag and replace my designer glasses with prescription ones. As the building came into sudden focus, I felt like Dr. Hahn after a night off passionate lesbian sex, and whispered to myself, I can see.

Modeled after the Roman Coliseum, the amphitheatre of books towered six stories high and opened up onto a glass covered esplanade. Standing there, I watched as the library began to take a much different shape in my mind. Within seconds its physical properties transformed into metaphysical ones and I could see why the library was so important. It offered me what I was so desperately seeking: the chance to lose myself.

Overwhelmed, my brain has been on overdrive these days and I am having trouble slowing it down. Like a slavedriver, my head keeps me wide awake long after the sun sets, and kicks me out of bed hours before it rises.  Whereas back on the prairies there were not enough hours in the day, here there are way too many. Each days seems like an eternity spent sitting in an empty apartment waiting for a job reply that is yet to come.

Sometimes, the desire to fast-forward life is just as defeating as the compulsion to rewind it.

Once I had finished contemplating, I crossed the street and walked inside. I registered for a library card and then rode the escalators as high as they could go. Finally coming to a stop, I felt my shoulders ease into my back and took a deep breath. Surrounding me were millions of pages of comedy and drama that offered my life on this West Coast exactly what it needed: a pause.

Comments

[pinkjellybaby]

I love libraries and book shops...especially old ones with loads of wood and comfy sofas. I think I could live in one.

When I get that island you had the picture of, I will have a big castle with a library and leather chairs and sofas...

[Kyla]

Aw, I love that you got a lost because you weren't wearing your glasses!! R.F!! Come on! lol

I hope the job offers start rolling in soon, and that you keep enjoying the west coast. I'm jealous!!

[Rugged Fox]

PJB - I like your plans for this island! So long as I can stay in your island castle of books for a night I am down!

Kyla - I know! It's a toss-up here between looking fabulous or seeing what is in front of you face. Thank God the mountains are so big, otherwise I would be lost forever.

[Catherine]

*cough* recherche not reserche *cough*